Homosexuality and Happiness

I have been in a wonderful discussion with a lot of my Westmont Christian friends over Facebook on proposition 8. I will post everything from that when it's done because it's just AWESOME! A lot of people have some great insight! I also received a private message from someone and I do want to post that because I think it shows an overarching misconception about the difference between happiness versus joy in life as well as some clear verses about the homosexual lifestyle as well as true love. In red is what this person said and in bold black below it was my response.

Pablo, I wanted to give you my thoughts on your thoughts about sin, pain, etc in response to this note. You are obviously right that God doesn't make sinners, however, sexual orientation is not a sin... sexual activity is a sin. All babies are equally sexual, if you rub them while changing their diapers sometimes the friction causes a response. I think you would agree there's no sin in that. When sexual orientation becomes sexual practice, that's when the sin and pain comes in. Now I got married young as a virgin which was not a sin, but I had pain in excess and I was not at peace. Now, I'm a divorced single mom "living in sin" with my baby's father, however, I'm at peace with God and society is accepting of my situation so I feel no pain over my "sin." I know you're familiar with pain regarding sexual adventures (and you know that pain is not limited to homosexuality). Being in theatre, I know a great number of gay and lesbian people. I believe some are made in society and some are born that way. I believe that sexual orientation is part of a person's soul and not their biology and therefore as a person's personality or humanity cannot be proven genetically neither can sexual orientation. The gay and lesbian people I know fluctuate in happiness and pain as everyone does. Those I know who feel the most pain are those who are not commited and searching. I know some commited gay couples who live in supportive theatre environments and they live lives of very little pain.

I understand your concerns from the perspective of a future parent, and as a new parent I've become politically interested for the first time in my life. If you cultivate a healthy relationship with your children they will listen to you... and as they grow they will either decide to continue agreeing with you or go another direction. As a new mommy, I want my daughter to be raised in a world that is tolerant of all forms of diversity so that she'll feel accepted no matter what and make up her own mind based on love and acceptance. Many people live in pain based on feeling like a misfit. Some for orientation or racial reasons, and others because they simply don't fit in. My brother is straight and white and has lived through tremendous pain based on his personality. If those people could find acceptance and have their own peace with God, they'll find happiness.

I did a lot of souls searching, praying, and exploring with God when I was unhappily married. The bible clearly states that divorce is a sin... however, in 1 Cor there are exceptions. Many people in the church condemn divorce as passionately as homosexuality or murder... I felt horrible while I was making that decision. I feel that the words in the bible have passed through the hands of many humans to get to us and that God's true words are that of purity, love, and commitment. If a homosexual couple is married, loving, faithful, and at peace with God, I don't see the sin in that. God gave us free will and his word as guidelines for happiness, it's in the combination of those two that we can asses our humanity and our relationships with him and each other.

AND HERE IS MY RESPONSE....

Hi [friend],
Good to hear from you :) Thanks for your response. I agree with you that a homosexual orientation can be either nature or nurture. one thing to point out is that there is nothing that is a hard biological and genetic fact that shows that homosexual orientation is indeed genetic. However, it is 100% proven that homosexual orientation can be because of how a person is raised and because of their societal influences. I am completely willing to say, however, that there is a chance that homosexuality can be a genetic trait. Because of that, I, like you, focus on what the Bible says in that the behavior is a sin: lust, adultery, fornication... which applies to a male-male or female-female relationship.

I disagree about pain though. At least in some part. If there is sin, there is pain. There is no place where sin can dwell in that there is no negative repercussion. Therefore, a gay couple that is obviously in sin has to be in pain, whether or not they recognize it. And if it's not immediate superficial and easily recognizable pain, it's an inherent and deep-rooted need for Christ in their spirituality that is not met.

About your brother, I'm so sorry to hear that he's lived what seems to be consistent pain due to his personality. I like [your brother] :) Always did.

I feel that God is love. It says so in the Bible at least, so I believe it :) We as humans, however, are not called to happiness, but to joy. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that we are to seek happiness, but it's plastered from beginning to end that joy in Christ is what we are called to pursue. So, to me, the fact that two people are "happy" but they both live in a sinful lifestyle does not warrant my acceptance of their acts being okay. It's the exact opposite. Seriously though, it's so black and white to me when in Leviticus 18:22 is says - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." And when Leviticus 20:13 says - "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." Of course we're not going to kill someone, but these are God's laws to humanity. And we have to be culturally relevant as far as putting someone to death, but when the Old and New testament say that homosexuals who practice homosexuality will not inherit the Kingdom of God, I do see the sin in that.

Also, about love, the Bible says that God is love and that if a person does not know God they don't know true love, then it's pretty evident to me that two people that are not Christians do know really know love, but something other than true love. The verse is in John 4:7-19. Verse 7-8 say - "Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." If we take and inverse the last part of verse 7, we can say that if someone does not know God, then they do not know love.

When you say "God gave us free will and his Word for happiness" I think that happiness needs to be replaced with joy. If we, as inherently sinful human beings seek happiness, then we will seek a selfish happiness that benefits us. However, if we seek joy from Jesus Christ, then we can live in unhappy times that occur constantly in our lives, but we live in the joy of Jesus who saved us. Then can we really love, then can we really be at peace with God. No on can be at peace with God when they are in sin.