LAST DAY

I am within 40 minutes of getting off for the last time at Coverall and it feels weird. I was treated very well here and I am definitely going to miss speaking in Spanish all day long. I know that the obvious reason that the LORD had me here was to make money so that I can pay my bills. I wonder if I was also here in order that my family can start up a franchise and start their own company. I also wonder how this new experience in accounting and office managing will come in handy as far as the ministry/non-profit is concerned. I am also looking forward to my interview with Young Life this upcoming Tuesday. I think the LORD is telling me to work with Goleta Valley Church though. I don't know; I want to be so sure about this. I do NOT want to make ANY more mistakes!!!! I'm so tired of displeasing the LORD the SPIRIT and the FATHER as well as my parents and family. That's SOOOO OVER WITH!!

Anyway...

Only the LORD knows what the future holds, but I will know too because He is my friend and He will tell me what to do like He always has :) I LOVE YOU GOD!!! SO MUCH!!! SO SO SO MUCH!!!! I wish I could hug you right now.. ahhhhhh... Thanks for hugging me... with a smile :) I feel you........

LAST NIGHT AT WESTMONT II

JEN AND GERISE

angel with a bowl and dust and birds one alone flying and dies and then the flock of 7... "I have made it perfect and the fact that it's seven is a testament to God's perfection" A perfect friendship...

Well, if you read the last blog then this blog will not surprise you since the LORD was preparing me to pray over these two anointed girls. We talked at first and then we went to pray to one of their rooms [with the door open of course :)]... Well, I was so silent, but I knew the LORD wanted me to pray over them. However, I didn't know what to say, so I just kept being silent as they prayed and as they were silent as well. At one point I had a looong vision. It was of an angel of God that came down and had a brown wooden bowl, and the bowl had gold incense. As the angel got closer she/he took the incense within the bowl and sprinkled it over them. Then, I saw one bird flying against the wind, struggleing against the physical wind that I saw. The bird had come out of a forest and was attempting to cross over a desert in order to reach the forest that was on the other side. The bird seemed almost cartoonish... almost. Then the bird fell to the ground and sort of took the form of a human as it lay there, crying. But then it mustered up the force to fly again only to start to fail once more. However, a flock of 6 other birds came to its side and formed a V shape and the flock began to move forward. As the 7 birds began to move forward a whole flock of birds joined; there were so many birds now that it cast a shadow on the desert. At that point the vision ended, but it took a few minutes to receive the vision and for the LORD to give me a definition. Once the LORD had fully revealed everything and fully explained everything, I told them what the vision was and explained it to them.

The interpretation was for them so it doesnt not really make sense to say it here, but the whole experience was SOOOOO cool!!!!

YESTERDAY NIGHT AT WESTMONT: The Trinity Under the Trees

WOW!!!

WOW!!!

I have NEVER had an experience like THIS ONE!! I arrived early at Westmont for my appointment with a couple of friends so I decided to walk down to Van Kampen Hall and just read or something. I parked up in the DC parking lot and on my way down, I remembered that Anna had told me to just sit under the trees in front of the RS building and just "listen;" so I did...

WOW!!

Well, I laid down on the bench that was right in the center of all these really tall trees and I did just that, I began to listen. As I listened, all I could hear is the wind blowing through the trees, so I began to pray that God would really meet me there. And HE SO DID!!! I started to feel the presence of God immediately after I started praying, but it wasn't an overwhelming presence, it was an I'm-here soft presence. At one point, as my eyes closed, I started to get that feeling that the Spirit was about to speak to me, so I closed my eyes and began to really enjoy His presence. I saw/felt the Holy Spirit move forcefully across the trees as the wind picked up to a level that hadn't occurred that night. I could literally see (with my eyes closed) the Spirit moving from place to place among the trees. It was amazing cause I felt like my body was being lifted at one point. While this was happening, I felt that there was someone looking at me from the right and when I "looked" with my eyes closed, I saw a figure that was standing something like 100 feet from me. It was JC!! No WAY!! And he calmly walked over to me, knelt by me, and hugged me!!! I just laid there speechless. I looked up again and I saw the FATHER!! He was overlooking the Spirit, Jesus, and myself. As if He was just watching the whole time but I barely saw Him at that moment. Once I could no longer see anything else, I opened my eyes and began to worship God and thank Him for letting me experience Him like that! The whole thing must have taken over 20 minutes. When I stood up, I could NOT walk... I was dizzy and my legs were jello! Talk about "being drunk in the Spirit!" Thank You LORD!!!

vision of my son

So I was in the bathroom on Thursday the 15th of February 2007 and I had just finished my business, so I walked over to the sink. It was for only 1 to 2 seconds, but the flash was unforgettable. I was in shock for a while and didn't fully process what I had just seen until later that night. What I saw was Jenny standing there with a baby on her right arm. She wasn't looking at it, but I was. I also saw myself standing next to her but I was kind of blury. The attention was definitely on the child, then on Jenny and not at all on me. The little child had olive skin, was pudgy, and had thin black hair. It was definitely just born. Instantly I knew it was my son. Later I added that it was my first born son, but that was my thought and not the LORD's revelation. All three of us were on a platform of some sort and kind of looking out at the crowd. I got the feeling that the crowd was kind of big. The baby was so beautiful that it makes me want to cry. I can't wait to meet my son... I can't wait to hold him and be that near to him. I can't wait for Jenny to be the mother of my children. Again she seemed so happy in this vision. She seemed so joyful.

Current Job and New Job and POssible Job(S)

That title is a mouthful!! Well, If you look 2 or 3 blogs down the list you will be able to get some context for this blog...

The SBN Press gave me a 'go-ahead' and now I have to make decisions..and wait on the LORD of course! So, after talking things over with my parents, I think I'm going to give my 2 weeks' notice this Friday the 16 so that I would be able to start at the News Press by the 1st, but I am also going to ask if I can just not come back this Monday and start this Monday the 19th of Feb.

Well, in the midst of the chaos, SBNP emailed me back and said that I can start Wednesday the 21st. The reason that I cannot start on Monday is because it's a holiday, and Tuesday because it's usually chaos the day after a 3 day weekend. I am now sure that I have to take this job. Not because of the holidays, but because in every area this job makes more sense with the ministry. I think that I will give my two week/two day notice today... I will write more later...

Woken up at 2 am

This morning the LORD woke me up at 2 am. I went to go pee, came back and had this tremendously heavy weight or emotional pain in my heart. So, I asked the LORD, "What the heck is this?" And he responded by telling me that I HAD to pray for Jenny RIGTH NOW!! SO I started praying and I hurt and hurt and hurt more and more and more for her as I prayed things that I believe the LORD put on my heart. I prayed against all the work of the enemy and then I pleaded the LORD for mercy for her as He takes her, "To the same bottom [as I went through]" like the LORD had told me earlier this month or actually in January... Well, after 45 minutes, the weight started to go down and I fell asleep by 3 am.

LORD you are so amazing that you would give me the privilidge to pray for my beloved like that! I pray that you continue to work in her life as well as mine and that you continue to demand for me to take care of her in prayer. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! PRAISE YOUR NAME!!!

Proverbs 14:10&13

10 Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.

13 Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief.

These verses are so cool cause sometimes the LORD has told me things that have hurt my heart because of my own sin and that have made it glad because of His promises. BUT... no on will know the bitterness of my heart in this time of wanting Jenny while I wait for the LORD to fulfill His promise. BUT BUT BUT... NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO SHARE IN ALL THE JOY THAT I FEEL AFTER YEARS OF PAIN IN WAITING!!!!! It might not be as painful as it has been, but it will be painful nonetheless since I know that she is hurting; and I hurt when she hurts.

Things are interesting

So, now things are interesting again. I have an interview for Young Life on the 27th of February and a possible job offer from Goleta Community Church. The GCC offer is part time and it would offer a stipend. I don't know how much of a stipend that would be, but it would probably be enough to move out on my own... in Santa Barbara. That would be great, I think. I need to figure out my budget and stuff. Anyways, the whole Santa Barbara News Press thing is still on the table and that should materialize in a couple of weeks (I have to give them my DMV record). So, now, again, I am wondering what God has for me. I don't know for sure. I do know that He has told me to humble myself. I think He might be telling me to do this whole GCC thing, but since I am not sure, I will not take a step. God help me...

Inspired by Beauty on 23DEC06

Every morning before we wake

the Lord wakes up the sun before us.

His love for us has inspired Him to paint a glorious picture...

He brushes the sun over the clouds and blends the sweet aroma of a thousand colors.

From the silhouette of 2 dozen birds flying in perfect unity to the remnant smoke of an early jet...

Every leaf of every tree and every blade of grass feels the warmth of the Lord's breath.

Every rock on every mountain and every pebble on the highway are participants in His masterpiece.

My eyes soak in the density of all the colors.

My lungs are filled with the breath of life.

My heart's garden overflows with a stream of fresh emotions.

All of this for me?

Yes.

But as I folow the shimmering reflection on the all the way to the overwhelming sun I ask again: all of this for me? and the answer is now only 2 letters.

Why?

Because I am also part of this sculpture, this painting, this art piece.

And along with the rocks and the birds and the sun and the ocean I must praise my Maker.

And as the waves barell and bow down before Him i will join them and shout --

Lord... Thank You!!!

A Vision

In the same church service at IV that I read Psalm 71, I got a vision from the LORD and there was God, Jenny and myself. I will never forget the way that Jenny looked when I saw her face. She reminded me of when Moses had to put a cover over his face because he was so radiant. She looked so beautiful in every aspect. She had such a glow on her face!! Then it panned out and I saw she was reaching towards something to her left but she was not facing whatever she was reaching for. Then the image panned out some more and I saw her from behind as she reached for something for her left, but faced directly towards God. She was walking right at Him! Then it panned even more and I saw a hand, then an arm, and then I saw that I was reaching for her! We were both doing the same thing: reching for eachother but facing and walking towards God. Then it panned out some more and I saw two lines that showed our path and as we both walked it, we both were getting closer and closer to each other. The closer we got to God the closer we would be to each other. Then, as we kept on walking, our hands began to touch, but we were still not looking at each other, we were looking at the LORD. The vision stopped with me clearly hearing God say, "IN MY TIME."

Psalm 71

this is about mom and I need to reread this and write on it...

So I was in the service at IV and it was a great day so far. The church members were asked by my dad to go and greet each other and at the very very end, when everyone was just about in their seats and I was about to take my seat, my mom comes up to me and says, "Lee Salmos 71" (translated: Read Psalm 71). So I said okay, sat down, and started reading. IT WAS DIRECTLY FROM GOD!!!!

Here it is...

1 In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge; let me never be put to shame.
2 Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness; turn your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my rock of refuge, to which I can always go; give the command to save me, for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked, from the grasp of evil and cruel men.
5 For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD, my confidence since my youth.
6 From birth I have relied on you; you brought me forth from my mother's womb. I will ever praise you.
7 I have become like a portent to many, but you are my strong refuge.
8 My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.
9 Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
10 For my enemies speak against me; those who wait to kill me conspire together.
11 They say, "God has forsaken him; pursue him and seize him, for no one will rescue him."
12 Be not far from me, O God; come quickly, O my God, to help me.
13 May my accusers perish in shame; may those who want to harm me be covered with scorn and disgrace.
14 But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.
19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.
22 I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you—I, whom you have redeemed.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion.

The shame has been because of my sin. And because of my sin, people are now thinking that I am a certain way when I am not. The LORD will redeem me and save me in His righteousness. He gave the command to save me!! He said, "That's enough!" I was in the hand, and still are in the reach, of the wicked. He was always my hope and still is!! My hope in my future in general and my hope in my futire with Jenny!! *BIG SMILE* My CONFIDENCE in my youth! He has brought me from my mother's womb and called me since birth! I am His Levite! Verse 7 says that I have become a portent to many [demons]. This means (as stated in the dictionary): an indication or omen of something about to happen, esp. something momentou; prophetic or threatening significance. Oh my gosh! LORD help me... I CANNOT do what you are calling me to do without you!!! Thank the LORD that the other side of verse 7 says that He is my refuge!! Because once I realized what portent meant, I felt like a big wave was going to hit me, but guess what!?!? I'm in a strong refuge!!! hahaha PRAISE GOD!!! Then in verse 8 it says that my mouth is filled with your praise... I have been doing that like crazy in all situations lately!! It's awesome to feel and know that He will never cast me aside for any reason, icluding age. Because at an old age I will still be fighing the good fight and my enemies that are not of flesh and bones will still be trying to destroy me just like they were and still are. God has NEVER forsaken me. He has come in His chariot of fire and rescued me! He is my warrior in front of me!! My accusers (Whether spiritual or flesh) WILL perish in shame; the LORD will be the one that judges and punishes. HOPE -- ALWAYS!!! Praise Your name Jesus!! YES!! How true verse 15 is... I will ALWAYS tell of how he saved me and continues to save me and I do realize that I don't fully know how big His righteousness is! I cannot wait to give Him glory in telling of how He worked in my life. I know that everything that has happened, whether it was a mistake of mine or a work of Him, ALL go back to how He used it for His glory. I really like verse 18 as well because it shows how He desires His name and glory to be from generation to generation. I hope I get the chance to do that! Verse 20-21 are SO TRUE!! I have seen and will see troubles, many and bitter, He will restore my life!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!! YEAH!!! WOOHOOOOO!!! He will increase my honora and comfort me once again!! So that HE can be glorified!! SO GOOD!!! ANd my lips are already shouting for joy every time that I sing to You!!! Those that wanted to harm me have been put to shame! Demons did not triumph against my King and humans will not triumph against Him either!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!

Thank you so much God because you are my lighthouse and no wave will ever beat me down while I remain in You!!!

Montecito

Well,
I didn't get the job from Montecito, but PRAISE GOD! Praise God always!! He is in control. He has a reason why this happened. I am thinking that even though I didn't get the job, I have an open door into MCC!!! Then, Seashore Community Church also is looking for a youth pastor and maybe God will open that door. I just want to be serving Him in some ministry! I am so excited to see what He has for me!!